Still Your Dad
by yet-i-remain-quiet
Summary: While tracking down a member for HIVE, Felicity runs into the father that abandoned her when she was a child.


Felicity pushed her way through the doors into the foundry, not caring as the door slammed loudly against the wall. She ran down the stairs blindly, unable to see clearly through the tears she was trying to keep at bay. She knocked into and collided with objects throughout the room as she ran. She stumbled into the small washroom, closed the door, and leaned her back heavily against the door.

Felicity took a deep, shuddering breath as the tears she had been trying to hold back, came rushing down her cheeks. A loud sob escaped her lips, she clapped her hand over her mouth, in a mediocre attempt to quiet the sound of her cries.

"Felicity?" Oliver's concerned voice called, muffled through the closed washroom door. "I'm not going to ask if you're okay, because I know that you're not. But I'm here. I'm right outside and when you're ready to talk, if you want to talk. I'm here."

On the other side of the door, Oliver all but collapsed into Felicity's chair that sat in front of her computer station. He could hear the faint sounds of Felicity, as she sobbed on the other side of the door. And as much as it killed him, and as effortless as it would have been for him to break through the door, he was giving her space. The space she required to process the events that had occurred over the past hour.

It seemed hard to believe that such a short amount of time had passed. How quickly Felicity's entire world had changed.

It was only an hour ago, that the team's van had been parked outside a safe house for their current mission. Felicity sat in their van as she attempted to gain access to the house's private security grid.

In the time that had passed since Oliver and Felicity had returned to Starling after their time away, Oliver had spent a large majority of his time, trying to mend fences with Diggle. His best friend, his brother in arms, his teammate and partner. The friend, whom Oliver had foolishly betrayed by kidnapping his wife, in his efforts to take down Ra's al Ghul. It hadn't been easy but, Oliver was slowly gaining Diggle's trust and friendship back.

Which is what led the team to their current mission and reasons to be outside this particular safe house.

 _For the past few months, the team had been searching for any and all information regarding an organization called H.I.V.E. After Diggle had shared the information he had been given, that the mysterious corporation may have been involved in the death of his brother, Andy, Oliver had willingly been pouring every spare minute the team had, into the search._

 _Through an informant of Lyla's, the team had the possible location of one of H.I.V.E.'s safe houses. As well as the possibility that the house was currently being used by one of the corporation's commanders. Lyla's informant also had relayed that this person may have information regarding Diggle's brother. However, there was very little information regarding the person inside the house._

 _Oliver, wisely, wouldn't allow the team to storm the house blindly, without more knowledge of who or what they were up against. He needed to know as much information as possible, before entering the house. The issue they had found was that the network that the house ran on, was a closed circuit. Felicity would need to be as close to the property as possible to gain access._

 _This resulted in, much to Oliver's disapproval, Felicity sitting in their van, outside the house, on her tablet, hacking, doing what she does best, while he and Diggle were stationed outside, keeping watch._

 _Oliver the sound of Felicity's triumphant cheer over their comm system, which notified Diggle and himself that she had gained access to the house. She was joking in his ear, babbling, as she sifted through the security camera footage. Attempting to get the information they required, to get a viable shot of the person who hid in the house, to be able to identify them._

 _Felicity's rambles were cut off by a loud gasp that escaped her lips._

" _Felicity?" Oliver called, worried after several seconds of silence from Felicity's end. "Felicity? Are you okay? What's wrong? Did you find something?"_

 _Felicity didn't respond._

" _Felicity!" Oliver yelled. Diggle echoed her name. Fearing the worst, Oliver began to move from his position, heading back to Felicity in the van._

" _But—" she stuttered. "That's not.. It can't be. That's impossible."_

 _Oliver let out a huge sigh of relief and paused in his movement towards the parked vehicle. "Don't do that to me," he scolded. "I thought you were hurt or someone had caught you."_

 _But Felicity hadn't seemed to hear Oliver, she continued muttering to herself, repeating that it was impossible and something didn't make sense._

" _It can't be him," she whispered._

" _Who?" Oliver asked. "It can't be who? Felicity, answer me." He picked up his pace to a run as he headed in the direction of their parked van._

" _My… my… My father," Felicity breathed, her voice filled with disbelief. "This can't be happening. It's not real."_

 _Oliver could hear rustling sound through the comms, he guessed the noise meant that Felicity was moving within the van. He could see the vehicle, a few feet in front of him. Just as he reached for the door, the engine roared to life. He could see Felicity, in the driver's seat, as she stomped on the gas pedal, the van took off._

 _Oliver cursed under his breath. "Felicity," he barked into the comms. "Felicity, what's happening? Where are you going?"_

 _When she gave no reply, he ran to the patch of bushes where he had left his bike parked. He jumped on, and followed in the direction Felicity had driven in._

" _Oliver," Diggle hollered into his ear. "What's happening?"_

" _I'm going after her. She just drove off," Oliver responded, then repeated Felicity's name, calling out to her._

" _Felicity. Please. Answer me," Oliver begged as he wove through traffic, following her as she drove._

" _It was my father," Felicity finally responded after several moments of silence. The tone of her voice was measured in a way that suggested she was trying to hold back tears. Trying to keep her emotions in check._

" _What do you mean?" Oliver pressed gently. He was grateful, Diggle had remained silent, giving the two time to speak, without interruptions._

" _The H.I.V.E. agent in that house," Felicity's voice cracked as she spoke._

 _Oliver remained silent for a moment, unable to respond as he processed Felicity's words._

" _Your father?" he finally asked. "But I thought that he…"_

" _Abandoned me," Felicity interrupted. "The father that left me. Left me and my mother to work for some secret, murdering, evil corporation, that hires assassins to kill people."_

 _Oliver could hear the hysteria as it leaked into Felicity's voice._

" _Or maybe he always worked for them," she continued. "I barely remember him. Barely know anything about him. I never tried to look, never tried to find out. But you'd think I'd remember that. The fact that every morning when he left for work, he was going to work for Evil Incorporated."_

 _Oliver had remained silent through Felicity's rambling, not knowing how to respond, not knowing what he could say to comfort her. He could tell, as he followed her, that she was heading in the direction of the lair. He would be able to talk to her there._

 _He looked ahead and could see her as she turned the van into a parking space. He pressed down harder on the bike's gas pedal, as he watched Felicity flee from the van through the hidden door that led to the lair. She didn't seem to notice or care that she had left the van running and the driver's door wide open. He entered the lair a few minutes behind her and looked around. He saw the washroom door was closed. As he neared the door, he heard an audible sob through the closed door._

 _Oliver called out to Felicity, informing her that he was there and would be waiting for her, whenever she was ready._

 _Oliver wasn't sure how much time had passed as he waited for Felicity to exit the washroom. He had sent a message to Diggle, informing his partner of their current status. Diggle had responded almost immediately, telling Oliver to take care of their girl, stating that he would head home, giving the couple privacy, but he requested that Oliver keep him updated, his concern for Felicity evident._

Inside the washroom, Felicity's tears had subsided, she had slid to the floor, her legs too unsteady to hold her body up. She felt frozen as her mind raced. She tried to recall every detail, every memory that she had of her father, from the short time he had been in her life.

She could remember him lifting her over his head as she laughed. Him teaching her about computers. She could remember the way he left every morning for work, how he wore a suit. But, as hard as she tried, she couldn't remember his job, where he went every morning when he left.

Most of all, Felicity could remember the morning that he left and never came back.

 _Felicity could hear her father arguing with her mother in the kitchen. She couldn't hear clearly what they were fighting about. She could only hear the sound of raised voices, yelling at each other in angry tones. Her 7 year old mind, unable to understand their argument. She had wandered down the stairs, in an attempt to better hear the argument, when she saw them. Two packed suitcases, standing and waiting by their front door._

 _She sat down on the bottom stair, staring at the suitcases, wondering what they were for or who they belonged to. She watched as her father stormed through the hallway, towards the door. He threw the door open before reaching down to grasp the handles of the suitcases._

" _Daddy?" Felicity called quietly._

 _Her father jumped, startled, as if he hadn't seen her sitting on the stairs. He looked at her, something flashed in his eyes before he turned and walked out the door, not looking back._

 _Felicity jumped up, racing after his retreating form. A taxi sat, idle, at the end of their driveway. She called out to her father again. But he didn't respond as he loaded his suitcases into the trunk and climbed into the backseat of the taxi. Felicity ran after the car, as it pulled away from the curb. Her bare feet slapped the pavement. Her small voice, cried out to him, unheard over the roar of the car's engine as it picked up speed and drove out of sight._

 _Felicity stood at the end of their driveway for over an hour before her mother came outside and ushered back into the house. She pleaded with her mother, begging to tell her where her father had gone and when he would come back. Her mother's only response was they would be fine, they were strong and they would be fine, better without him._

Felicity was broken out of her memories by Oliver softly calling her name again. She shakily stood up but kept her eyes fixed on the floor as she tried to avoid looking at her reflection in the washroom mirror. She didn't want to see what a disaster she must look like, her make up would have been ruined by her tears. She placed her hand on the door knob and took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

Oliver stood a few feet away from the door, still dressed in his leathers but, his hood was pushed back, and he had removed his mask and quiver. Worry and concern were evident across his features as he watched Felicity.

He met her eyes when she looked up as she exited the washroom. He didn't say anything instead, he cautiously opened his arms to Felicity. She rushed towards him and collided with his muscular chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her small frame, holding her tightly against him. He rested his chin on the top of her head. He could feel her body shake as she began to cry again.

Oliver rubbed small circles on Felicity's back and stayed silent as he waited for her tears to finish. He couldn't even begin to imagine what was happening inside her head in that moment. He knew she was completely overwhelmed and devastated by the apparent reappearance of her estranged father.

Felicity's sobs began to quiet, as her tears came to an end. She pulled herself closer to Oliver, relishing the feeling of comfort she felt in his arms. She felt him press his lips to the top her her head. She pulled back and looked up at him. Oliver brought his hands up, he wiped the remaining tears from her face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he questioned carefully, his eyes moved over her face as he tried to read her emotions.

Felicity swallowed and took a deep breath. She pulled back from Oliver and took his hand, she led him over to the couch that she had insisted on putting in their new lair. She sat down heavily and pulled Oliver down next to her. She pulled his arm around her shoulders and curled herself into his chest. She bit her lip as she tried to find the words to explain what she was feeling, what she was thinking.

Oliver remained silent, he brushed his hand up and down her arm, placing soft kisses to the top of her head as he waited patiently for Felicity to speak.

"I don't understand," she finally whispered. "How could the man who instrumented Digg's brother's death, be the same man that taught me about computers and tucked me in at night."

Oliver pulled Felicity closer to him and brushed his lips over her temple. "We don't know that he had anything to do with Digg's brother's death."

"But Lyla's guy said," Felicity argued, as she turned her face to look at Oliver. "That the person in the safe house had the information we needed. That they knew something. That they were involved."

Oliver brushed a lock of Felicity's hair that had slipped from her ponytail, behind her ear. "Nothing was confirmed," he muttered softly. "We don't know if your father was involved. It might be nothing."

"Or everything," Felicity groaned. "My father could be responsible for Digg's brother's death. He could be the one who hired Deadshot to kill him. How am I ever going to look at John again, knowing that my father.."

"Hey," Oliver whispered, cutting her off. "John doesn't care. He's more worried about you. He wants to make sure that you're okay."

"But my father," Felicity protested.

Oliver shook his head and pulled Felicity closer to him. Felicity fell silent and snuggled into Oliver's chest.

"I never tried to find him," she said after several minutes of silence. "I could have. I could have looked and found him, I have the capability."

"So, why didn't you?" Oliver questioned.

"When he left," Felicity explained. "My mom said that we didn't need him. If he didn't want us, then we didn't need him. We'd survive without him. But I waited. For months after he left, I waited for him to come back. I would jump up and race to the window every time I thought that I heard a car stop outside our house. And then we moved because my mom couldn't afford the payments on the house, and I was terrified he wouldn't be able to find us when he came back.

"I had imagined a hundred stories and theories that could explain where he went, why he left. He was fighting dragons, he was working for the Queen, he joined the circus, he worked for the government. Never thought, I'd guess right on that one.

"And then, as I grew up, as I got older. I began to wonder what I had done wrong. Why didn't he want me. And then all that hurt, all those feelings of abandonment slowly turned to anger. If he didn't want me then I didn't care. I didn't need him. He probably had another family somewhere, the perfect family.

"I think part of me blamed my mom. We were so different. I was like my dad, always working on computers, always reading. And my mom, well, you've met her. She spent half my college years trying to convince me to buy a fake ID and the years after obsessing over my lack of social life and boyfriend. It must have been something that she did to make him leave

"And by the time I met you," Felicity trailed off and looked up, meeting Oliver's eyes. "I had accepted it. I thought about it, once. When I found out about your mom and Thea. And I almost did it, almost started looking. But, I could remember the hurt that I had felt and I didn't want to open those wounds again. I was building my own life. A life that didn't involve him and I was fine.

"And now," she whispered, her voice cracking. "Now he's back and all those feelings. All the hurt and anger, it's back. And I just want it to be over. I want him gone, I want to go back to earlier this evening and not find out. To not know who he is."

"We could you know," Oliver offered. "We could drop this lead and wait until we find something else."

Felicity was silent as she considered what Oliver was offering. To go back to the start, begin again, find a new lead; one that didn't involve _him_.

"No," she finally responded. "I can't do that to John. This is the first real lead we've had since we started looking. The first clue that has led us anywhere. John deserves to know. He deserves closure.

"If my father doesn't know anything, I won't have to see him again and I can move on. But if he does, if he had something to do with Andy's death. Then we need to know what. If my," Felicity choked out. "My father was involved in Andy's death, he needs to pay for it."

—

The next night the team found themselves, once again, outside the safe house. Felicity had chosen to remain at the lair, assisting over the comms system. The plan was for Oliver enter the house through the back, while Diggle would cover the front. Oliver had filled Thea and Laurel in on the events of the previous night. The two would be covering the other sides in case the man inside tried to escape.

Once they had apprehended him, they would bring him to a separate location to question him on his knowledge of Andy's death. If found guilty, ARGUS was waiting on standby to take him in.

They had done what little recon they could on Felicity's father. After leaving Felicity and her mother, Daniel Smoak had become a ghost. There was no record of him existing. Lyla had contacted her informant and had returned with the name James Knight, as the man inside the house. There wasn't however, much information to be found on him either. All they could find was that he seemed to work as a financial advisor for a number of private companies.

Felicity paced around the lair, chewing her thumb nail nervously, as she listened to the team attempt to breech the house.

"Felicity," Diggle's voice came through her ear. "Are you sure you want us doing this? It is your father."

Felicity nodded, forgetting the team couldn't see her. "Yes," she confirmed. "You deserve closure, John. You need to find out what happened with Andy."

"You deserve it too, Felicity," Diggle said softly. "Are you sure you don't want to see him?"

"I don't," Felicity hesitated, briefly considering what she would say if she was put face to face with the man who abandoned her all those years ago. The questions she would ask.

Oliver interrupted Felicity's thoughts by informing the team that it was time to execute the plan. Each member moved into position. Felicity listened over the comms as the plan followed through.

She could hear Oliver as he broke through the door, as he raced through the house, clearing each room as he went. Until, he found her father. James Knight didn't come easily, it had taken all four members of the team render him unconscious and to bring him in.

The team then brought Knight to the secondary location and Oliver could begin the process of questioning him.

The team had set up cameras and microphones, so Felicity was able to watch through the monitors as Oliver woke her father up. As she watched, she found herself studying his face. His face was the same face she remembered, but with more lines and wrinkles, his hair, now peppered with grey. But it was still the same face of the man she could remember. The man who played hide and seek with her, the man who she had looked up to, until he left her.

Could he really be the same man who had Andy Diggle murdered?

"Did you arrange to have Andy Diggle murdered?" Oliver demanded once Knight was awake.

Knight gave no response, he simply stared back at Oliver.

Oliver growled and repeated the question, notching an arrow as he spoke and pointing it at Knight's chest.

"Are you sure you want my daughter to see you do that, Mr. Queen?" Knight questioned smugly.

Oliver faltered in his movements and lowered his bow.

"How do I know who you are?" Knight quipped. "Is that what you were going to say?"

Felicity shot up from her chair in the lair, wringing her hands nervously. She waited to hear Oliver's reply.

Oliver reached a hand up and lowered his hood, exposing his identity to her father. "How did you know?" Oliver questioned.

"I may have left my daughter behind, but I didn't ignore her entirely. I kept tabs on her over the years. So imagine my surprise when I learned she's working for Starling City's own vigilante. Once I had that figured out, it was easy enough to figure out your true identity," Knight gloated. "She always was a daddy's girl. Always a little too much like me."

Oliver growled and raised his bow back up, pointing the arrow at Knight. "You know nothing about her," he barked.

Knight smirked. "I know enough. And I'm not going to answer your questions until I speak to her."

Felicity gasped, her whole body froze. Her father wanted to speak to her. Would only speak to her. Her mind raced, the last thing she wanted was to speak to her father, to face the man that abandoned her.

"You don't have to do this Felicity," Diggle's calm voice came through the comms. "We'll find another way. You don't have to see him."

Felicity collapsed into her chair, her legs giving out from under her. She considered her options, if she didn't speak to her father, they might never find out who was behind Andy's death. But she wasn't entirely sure if she could face him. She wasn't sure if she could look him in the eyes.

"Felicity," Oliver's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. "It's your decision. ARGUS has ways of making him talk."

Felicity closed her eyes and thought of the what ARGUS would do to him to make him talk. "Okay," she whispered. "I'll talk to him."

"Felicity," Diggle protested.

"It's okay, John. I'll be okay," Felicity tried to sound convincing.

"You don't have to do this for me," Diggle stated.

"Maybe not," Felicity assured. "But I'll do it anyway. You've done so much for me, helped me so much. I can do this for you. You deserve closure."

20 minutes later, Felicity pulled up in her car outside the building Oliver was holding her father in. She turned the engine off and rested her forehead on the steering wheel. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, her breathing erratic. She tried to calm herself before she exited her car. She didn't want her father to see how bothered she was by the situation. She didn't want him to see the affect he had on her. She needed to be strong.

She walked slowly towards the door of the building, she could see Oliver as he waited for her in the shadows. He pulled her into a tight hug when she stopped in front of him.

"You can still change your mind," he murmured in her ear. He pulled back, still holding her hand

Felicity shook her head and attempted a smile. "Just stay with me," she whispered, looking up and meeting Oliver's loving eyes.

"Always," Oliver promised and led her into the room where her father sat, waiting.

As she walked up to her father, she tightened her grip on Oliver's hand, he squeezed back in reassurance.

"Felicity," her father whispered in amazement. "You look beautiful, so much like your mother."

"Don't," Felicity ordered. "Don't you dare talk about her. You said you'd talk to me, so here I am. Now talk."

The light in her father's eyes dimmed. "Are you going to call your guard dog off?" he asked and jerked in head in Oliver's direction.

"He stays," Felicity confirmed. "Now tell us everything you know about Andy Diggle's murder."

Her father sighed, and spent the next hour retelling the events that had led to Andy's murder. Knight had been working for H.I.V.E. for years, even before he left Felicity and her mother. Andy had been working as a bodyguard for Knight. One night, Andy accidentally stumbled upon some information that Knight couldn't afford anyone finding out. He hired Deadshot to take Andy out before the information could be passed on.

When her father finished talking Felicity turned to Oliver. "Will that be enough for ARGUS?" she questioned.

Oliver nodded, and moved away from Felicity to contact Waller.

Felicity walked after Oliver, turning her back on her father, still strapped to the chair where he sat.

"Do you want to know what information he found?" her father asked quietly.

"Would it really matter?" Felicity challenged. "You still had him killed over it."

"It was you," her father retorted. "The information he found was you. When I left you and your mother, it was to keep you safe. There was someone after me, someone from my past, someone who wanted to kill me. I had to leave you and your mother so they wouldn't go after you. I changed my name, changed my whole identity, to keep you safe. I had already done it once, I never thought I'd meet your mother and fall in love with her and have you. But they found me, I had to leave before they could find you.

"Andy had found the files I had of you. Over the years, I kept tabs on you. Newspaper articles from your science fairs, copies of your report cards, anything I could get my hands on. I couldn't risk it," he reasoned. "If the people who were after me found out about you, I'd never forgive myself. I was protecting you."

Felicity half turned to face her father and shot him a look of disbelief. "You had an innocent man killed, and what, I'm supposed to thank you. You abandoned me! Who was supposed to protect me then?

And that man, that man you had killed, his brother is one of my best friends. You say you did it to protect me, how do you even know he would have said anything. He might have kept your secret," the hysteria in Felicity's voice grew as she ranted. "Did you even give him a chance? He had a family, a wife and a son. What about them? Who protects them? Did you even feel any remorse, any guilt? Or was it just a write off, part of the job."

Oliver returned to Felicity's side after finishing his phone call, he wrapped his arm around her waist. She leaned into his chest, still glaring at the man she had called her father.

"Waller's team will be here soon," Oliver informed her. "You can go, I'll wait for them."

Felicity curled into Oliver's chest and nodded, she moved to leave the room. But she turned back one last time to face her father.

"I do have one question though," she started. "Why did you give in so easily. When my team caught you tonight, why were you so willing to tell me what you had done?"

"I wasn't going to," her father explained. "I knew you worked with the Green Arrow. I thought I could buy myself some time if I asked for you. I was prepared to make something up, lie, cheat my way out.

"And then you walked through the door. And all I could see was you, 7 years old, chasing after the car, as I left, your little bare feet, running down the road. And I couldn't do it. I owed you the truth. I owe you a lot of things. Things I can't ever make up for, but I could give you this."

Tears filled Felicity's eyes, she nodded. "Okay," she whispered and turned back to face Oliver. He held out his hand to her, leading her away from her father.

"Take care of her," her father called. "I know that you have been, so thank you. But take care of my little girl."

Oliver looked over his shoulder to her father. "As long as she'll have me," he answered.

Felicity followed Oliver outside, as they walked to her car, a loud sob escaped her lips. Oliver stopped and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She cried into his arms.

"It shouldn't hurt like this," she sobbed. "I should hate him. He abandoned me, he's killed people or at least had people killed. Why does it hurt so much?"

Oliver pulled back and cupped her face between his face, brushing her tears away with the pads of his thumbs, he smiled at her sadly. "Because at the end of the day, he's your dad, mistakes and all. He's your father. And no matter what he's done, no matter how much you wish you could hate him, part of you will never be able to. And because you're _you_ , you're Felicity, I don't think you could ever truly hate anyone."

Felicity choked out a laugh. "That's not entirely true," Felicity countered. "I totally hated Isabel. And I may have called your mother diabolical, while at her funeral."

"We could start a club," Felicity joked. "The Your Dad's a Terrible Person, But You Have to Love Them Anyway Club. We could recruit Roy, I bet his dad was an asshole."

Oliver chuckled and pulled Felicity closer to his body. "Sounds good, Felicity," he murmured into her hair. "We can have the first meeting when we get home, over a pint of Mint Chip."

"You know me so well," she whispered as they climbed into their car and drove home.


End file.
